Single motherhood | trials and tribulations

First off, I love being a single mother.  I throughly enjoy being soley responsible for how my son turns out, what he sees on a daily basis, and how he will learn to be a man.  Then again, maybe I feel that way because I know he's better off learning from me than any other individual at this time. 

Let's face it though - single motherhood often challenges you to make some really difficult decisions.  Also, you'll find yourself having feelings of regret, shame, and sometimes even hate on how you ended up this way.  Never in a million years will I regret bringing Wesley in this world, I just wish maybe I would have done it a little differently.  

 I've said this time and time again - as mothers it's ultimately on us for not choosing the best man to father our child.  Yes, people can often be deceiving, as well as people often change...suddenly at times.  So, I try not to be so hard on myself, but I find it acceptable to not always point the finger and just tell myself "well, now you have to make the best of your decisions, Amanda!".  Ever since creating that mindset and not having to deal with bitterness or reliance on another human being, I have been significantly happier.

It's as simple as this, sometimes people are just bad.  They just are.  And there's absolutely nothing we can do about it.  The best advice I can give any single other out there is explore every opportunity to build up your independence.  Let nothing hold you back.  Your child, who looks at you and ONLY you everyday will someday embrace every risk you decided to take to make their lives just a little sweeter. 

There's a gift God gives to every mother, aside from their beautiful bundle of course.  And that's strength and perseverance. Corny it may seem, but if you look back at your mother, and her mother, and even her mother - you'll find we all have those two things in common. Though we all develop our own theories and ways of parenting - we can all say in each of us as mothers, we see a little of our moms in us.  

When I began my journey as a single mother I immediately saw my moms strength in every bit of my being. Some days I just step back, and although I experience anger and frustration A LOT of the time - I can't help but be thankful for being blessed with the strength. 

I'm almost positive that there is not a single thing that could ever stand in my way.